➌ entries


► sender : s͓̽t͓̽a͓̽r͓̽r͓̽y͓̽ ͓̽c͓̽a͓̽t͓̽

► subject : i am my own hell

► i want to self destruct and destroy all my progress and work. itll happen eventually. it always gets ruined. id rather ruin it myself than have it be out of my control. you should listen to this song. i used to want to feel numb all the time but now i just wanna feel something. im glad im on medication for this but i can't help feeling so uncontrollably angry. i just wanna feel something, hurt somehow, you know. i don't feel anything!! i really don't!!! im just angry, but i can't even feel it. im just empty. im empty all over. i feel like ive rotted so much on the inside that now its all turned to ash. i feel unendingly angry. im crying while im writing this but i can't feel a damn thing. i don't konw what the hell to do. here's the song i reccomended to you. if youre not gonna listen to it you should read the lyrics.


► sender : s͓̽t͓̽a͓̽r͓̽r͓̽y͓̽ ͓̽c͓̽a͓̽t͓̽

► subject : im fucked

► no one every wanted me did they. do you ever get tired of everyone hating you. im sick and angry all the time. my whole body feels putrid. do you ever feel like your body is decaying right from inside. but youre too jacked up on pills and menhara to do a goddamn thing. im not nihilistic or cynical, just tired. i hate nihilists. they make me sick. im staying up tonight. i dont want to go to sleep anymore. im too tired to be awake but i dont wanna be asleep either. ill email you before i go to sleep in the morning.


► sender : s͓̽t͓̽a͓̽r͓̽r͓̽y͓̽ ͓̽c͓̽a͓̽t͓̽

► subject : cop graveyard

► instead of surviving by doubting others, its better to die by believing in others.